Element Blog

My Friend Wants to Know: I’m Offended, What Should I Do?

By May 3, 2017 May 16th, 2017 No Comments

“I am offended, what should I do?”

When someone does something to hurt you, a common reaction is to think “it’s not that big of a deal,” “stuff happens,” or “time will heal my hurt.” We all know it doesn’t just go away. It’s not “fine” and the pain is still there.

So where do we go and what do we do now?

The bible says offense will come. But we cannot let offense hangout in our lives. When we let it hang out it starts to cause problems, take root and hurt our lives.

Here’s what the bible tells us about offense:


#1.) Acknowledge your hurt

When you acknowledge where you are, you can figure out where you need to go.

Give yourself permission to say, “emotions aren’t always right but they are very real. I have emotions and I’m hurting.” When you acknowledge that you are offended, you can deal with the pain and hurt.

Until we acknowledge where we are, the offense will keep holding us back. When we are honest with ourselves we can move onto the next step.

#2.) Assess your perspective

Someone did something to you and now you have a challenge. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to let it stay and root itself in your heart? Are you going to move on and forgive them?

When dealing with offense, the Bible tells us to assess our perspective. An offended perspective is a broken perspective. We are so quick to judge, assess, not forgive and become angry with people, all the while forgetting who we are. It’s so easy to see shortcoming in others and not in ourselves. We’ve forgotten that we have been forgiven. We need to take a step back and realize the junk in our lives.

When we have a revelation of God’s grace, we can get out of unforgiveness and bitterness. The love of Jesus Christ moves in through brokenness and meets and resurrects us. He gives us what we need, even though we are broken and undeserving. If we didn’t get the apology we wanted or what we thought we deserved, He will provide it for us. You get to decide where you go to receive what you need.

When we deal with the junk in our lives and ask for forgiveness, our perspective shifts. When our perspective shifts, we can turn and offer God’s grace to someone else.

#3.) Admit you’re paying a deep personal price to hold unforgiveness

Have you ever felt stuck because of the bitterness, unforgiveness and offense in your heart? When you are stuck in your past and unforgiveness, you can’t move onto the future God has for you. Our unforgiveness starts to control our lives. The bible says, the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Whatever is in our heart is impacting everything in our life.

Here at Element church, we like to say, “If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.” God has a specific purpose for everyone. But if your heart is full of offense, there is no room to receive what God wants to give or show you. Open your hand and release the offense because he has something better for you.

It comes down to a choice. Are we going to choose the pain of holding onto offense or the pain of changing?

#4.) Release the debt

Having a revelation doesn’t change us, it’s applied revelation that changes us. We’ve acknowledged our hurt, assessed our perspective and realized it’s costing us deeply. The next step is taking action. We need to make a decision to be free and lay down our offense. The bible tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s an action. When we extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us we can receive the things God has for us.

#5.) Accept God’s Love & Refreshing

The ultimate destination of repentance is not found when we put off sin, but when we put on love.
– Adam Narciso

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Acts 3:19

related: My Friend Wants to Know: What About The Holy Spirit?


All of us have been offended at some point in our lives. Let’s pray for one another so we can find peace and feeling with our hurt.

The sin of unforgiveness. We’ve paid a deep price to hold it. We confess any attitudes and actions of living with unforgiveness & unhealed wounds. We repent.

We receive your forgiveness, life & power for sins. We receive the infilling work of the Holy Spirit to do what Jesus did. We respond to the invitation to be transformed and become more like Jesus.

We rebuke the enemy of our soul and any influence surrounding unhealed wounds and renounce his lies. We come against any un-truths that would cause us to hold onto unforgiveness, offense & bitterness.  Grant forgiveness and blessing wherever necessary.

We replace unforgiveness with a spirit of forgiveness. We open our hands and our hearts to grab onto renewal & transformation in your power and in your love.

Thank you for renewing our mind and our hearts in Jesus name.



Listen to the full message:
Podcast – I’m Offended, What Should I Do?